2011年3月14日 星期一
A Day I'll Never Forget
A Day I'll Never Forget was that the cockroach climbed up my left leg on that day. My sister drove me to buy lunch. After we ordered the meal, we were waitiing for it. Something happened at that time. I felt unpleasant because I found something climbng up my left leg. To my surprise, I found many cockroaches on the ground. I am so scared that I jumped all the time to get rid of it;for a while, I saw a part of the cockroach's body dropped. I didn't look at it carefully so I didn't know whether the cockroach's body fell dowm completely. After going home, I decided to take a shower . When I took off my pants, something dropped from my pants. It was the cockroach! I was too frightened to continue my action. Finally, I washed my body thoroughly and I tried to forget this thing. That's the worse day for me.
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張貼留言 (Atom)
waitiing多了一個i
回覆刪除climbng少一個i
dowm拼錯應是down
all the time改成in no time
I am so scared改成was
1.第一句的on that day 可以不需要吧!放到第二句
回覆刪除2. I am so scared 是I was so scared 吧!
3.I jumped all the time to get rid of it 用 all the time 怪怪的
4.感覺重複的字很多~或許可以想些方法代替有重複的字
文章中的A Day I'll Never Forget除了句首大寫其他都要小寫喔(是標題才要每個字開頭才要大寫吧)
回覆刪除然後是a cockroach因為沒有限定
最後的forget this thing和That's the worse day for me.一個是this一個是that會不會有點不一致?
大致就這樣~
第一句前面幾個字應該不需要大寫吧!!
回覆刪除可以加個one day
第二行we were ....直接寫we waited for it
after going home 改成after arriving home好像會比較好
最後一行worse 改成worst
1)前面開頭大寫就好了吧!
回覆刪除2)climbng 拼錯囉~
3)many cockroaches中間是不是多了一個空格?
4)第四行後面I am要改成was後面用all the time怪怪的
5)文章蠻多錯字要注意一下~
1.A Day I'll Never Forget was that the cockroach climbed up my left leg on that day.
回覆刪除前面不用大寫，我覺得on that day 可以刪調不用寫
2.有些拼字上的錯誤，要檢查一下。
3.可以嘗試將句子用連接詞連接成一個句子，因為感覺有些句子短短的就結束了。
第一句的字小寫就好了
回覆刪除然後你要不要把第一句最後面那邊的on that day搬到下一行看起來可能會比較順
To my surprise, I found many cockroaches on the ground. on the ground要不要改成on my leg?因為你前面是說有東西爬上我的腳，所以改成on my leg會不會比較順?
然後get rid of it的it就要改成them了
I saw a part of the cockroach's body dropped. apart of 如果是一部份的話cockroach's就要改成cockroaches'
I didn't look at it ~ it要改成them喔還有這句後面的cockroach's body 也要改成cockroaches' body
It was the cockroach! the好像要改a
That's the worse day for me. worse->worst
為什麼前面要那麼多大寫???
回覆刪除是標題才需要吧文章內就不用了只有開頭!
前面有a day了句尾還有on that day有點怪
把on that day改到下一句的開頭吧
下一句也該有東西開頭`直接那樣打有點怪.
第三段最後一個字"climbing"
第四段"I found many"後面多了一個空格吧??
後面應該是I "was" so scared.
第五段分號要空格`
第七段開頭"down"還有後面"shower"接句點不需空格
最後一句應該是was然後worst最高級才對.
打完文章應該重新看一遍就不會有太多小錯誤
考試寫作時也是`重看可以發現不少粗心.