Of all the sports, I like swimming and hiking best. First of all, swimming is as healthy as hiking. Next, swimming can promote metabolism; hiking can promote metabolism as well. Furthermore, both of them are able to consume calories and they are helpful to lose weight. Most important of all, swimming doesn’t need any implement on hand. Likewise, I don’t have any implement on hand while I go hiking. Besides, I can go swimming or go hiking whenever I want to do exercise. To sum up, I think that the more I exercise, the healthier I will become. There are a lot of advantages if I do exercise.
不是要比較兩個不同的東西嗎?
回覆刪除你這篇是comparing不是contrasting耶
要重寫一篇
那這篇不用回摟!!
回覆刪除所以不用回這篇~~
回覆刪除*上面的~她只是標題打錯啦~
回覆刪除然後，妳自己也要記的改標題拉~要不然大家也會跟著搞錯~
*Furthermore, both of them are able to consume calories and they are helpful to lose weight.
我覺得這句很奇怪，通常都是人加上be able to V!所以你可以改成→Furthermore, I can consume calories and lose weight by swimming and hiking.
*我覺得結尾偏掉了~這篇是要"比較hiking和swimming相同處"，而不是要說 "你覺得多運動對身體有好處，所以要多運動之類的。
所以要改結尾句!!
First of all, swimming is as healthy as hiking. 妳要不要先敘述一下hike的健康點之類的然後再寫這句
回覆刪除Furthermore, both of ~ 還有結論句都 孟庭想法+1
I can go swimming or go hiking whenever I want to do exercise.
回覆刪除這句好怪~任何時候都可以游泳和健行嗎?= = ~
結論句怪怪的~感覺跟題目無關ㄋㄟ~
Of all the sports, I like swimming and hiking best.之後你都沒有寫為什麼要比較
回覆刪除這樣有點怪