Every year, a lot of animals are taken to use in laboratory experiments, especially on small mice. For the progress, people have experiments on small animals. I’m against this way because every creature has authority to survive. Nobody can take away others’ lives. People are creatures and animals are creatures as well. Why can people experiment on animals for some demands? Maybe some experts say that they are necessaries, but lives are precious. We never consider the feeling of the animals experimented on. I think that experts can replace animals that are not toxic with poisonous animals or reduce experiments on animals. Death is nature, buy everybody should respect authority of creatures’ surviving. Lives are most valuable on earth.
感覺比較沒有前因後果...
回覆刪除可以增加一些"導致..."或"因為...所以..."等字詞來加強
感覺沒有什麼因為所以欸都只是陳述這樣而已
回覆刪除像是論說文!!
回覆刪除是要寫些原因吧!!
*Every year, a lot of animals are taken to use in laboratory experiments, especially on small mice.→ Every year, many researchers perform experiment with/on animals.另外，應該不是mice是guinea pigs八?
回覆刪除*這篇是要寫論說文唷~但是你好像沒有說你不贊成的原因~而且結尾完全不像是議論文的結尾，(通常都要再表示暫不贊成)，妳要再更改這篇文章了...
好像比較少妳自己的論點
回覆刪除I think that experts can replace animals that are not toxic with poisonous animals or reduce experiments on animals.
這句有爭議~不管是有毒或是沒毒的實驗~對動物來說就是以種傷害~所以我覺得如果是採反對立場的話，應該要堅決反對到底~沒有模糊地帶~這個論點不足以說服讀者~
前面就有寫People are creatures ~了後面那句why線的有些多餘
回覆刪除