I find that two historic men are alike in several ways. Both of them died on July 4, 1826 but they were born in different time. One of the men is John Adams, who was important person in the American Revolution. Similarly, the other person is Thomas Jefferson and he was important in the American Revolution. They have been to study and practice law. John Adams has been the President of United States as well as Thomas Jefferson, but John Adams was the second President and Thomas Jefferson was the third President. The former was as a signer of Declaration of Independence as the latter, but the latter was the author of Declaration of Independence as well. John Adams has been to delegate to the Continental Congress, which is alike Thomas Jefferson. They were some different. The former was the father of the sixth U.S. president-John Quincy Adams; however, the latter was the foreign minister to France and he founded University of Virginia . He was also philosopher, architect, and inventor. Although they were some different and some ways which were the same, they are the important people in history.
They have been to study and practice law 這句怪怪的可是我不知道要改成什麼,是they studied and practiced law嘛?
回覆刪除has been to delegate to 應該改成has been delegated to
回覆刪除in different time((怪怪的))
回覆刪除The former was as a signer of Declaration of Independence as the latter, but the latter was the author of Declaration of Independence as well.(but和as well衝突了)
應該都要用過去式吧,他們都死了
時態可能要調整一下
回覆刪除中間很多時態都是現在式
回覆刪除要都改成過去式
They have been to study and practice law
回覆刪除用過去式喔!
John Adams has been the President of United States as well as Thomas Jefferson
用過去式喔!
the third President
總統不用打了吧~前面打過了
John Adams has been to delegate to the Continental Congress, which is alike Thomas Jefferson.
用過去式喔!
Although they were some different and some ways which were the same, they are the important people in history.前後時態不一致喔!
1.were born in different time→were born "on" different day
回覆刪除2.One of the men is John Adams, who was "an" important person in the American Revolution.
3.They have been to study and practice law. John Adams has been the President of United States as well as Thomas Jefferson~
have been to study ,to 不用寫!我覺得兩句都要改成過去式
4.The former was as a signer of Declaration of Independence as the latter, but the latter was the author of Declaration of Independence as well.為甚麼要用but阿? but 不是表示1-1前後相反嗎?我是覺得怪怪的啦....
5.John Adams has been to delegate to the Continental Congress, which is alike Thomas Jefferson.
看你要改成was delegated to~ 還是要改成was a delegate to ~,另外,which 是代指前方的?如果是the continental Congress 有點怪...而且不能用alike Thomas Jefferson(請看文法B第100頁),要改成Thomas Jefferson was alike.
6.They were some different.(感覺怪怪的..)
→There were some difference between them.
7.Although they were some different and some ways which were the same~
different 是形容詞!
some different → some difference 或something different
some ways which were the same感覺有點太冗贅...如果改成 some identical ways呢?
最後,要注意一下你的時態!
提供以上的意見及想法給你參考.....